The Great and Mighty Invader ZIM's Log of Greatness!
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Invader ZIM

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The Battle of Del Snorg [09 May 2004|12:27am]
[ mood | amused ]


Incase any of you annoying humans were wondering, and it really is none of your business at the moment, ZIM has been…very…BUSY…forming the perfect plan for obliterating the human race! Yeah.

Approximately 4.5 hours ago, I sent a transmission to the Tallest. OH, were they pleased! But then again, why wouldn’t they be? Apparently, they had become so impressed with the progress of my mission, they decided to send me the most recent model of a Death Wave Cannon!

Ah…The memories of the infamous Battle of Del Snorg! It wasn’t too long ago—about seventy years before I came to Earth. War had broken out on Boodie Nen, so the Large Nostril people began to request for deadly war arsenal from Vort. Of course, our race had been on friendly terms with the Vortians at the time, so it wasn’t a problem for them to be exporting any weapons to their planet.

After a few months, things began to go weary. Vortians were making more weapons for Boodie Nen than for the Irkens. The Tallest became concerned, and offered the Vortians more monies for their work; the plan worked for a while, and the Vortians began to stop making their weapons. But soon afterwards, the Large Nostril people’s demand for weapons became overwhelming, and the Tallest knew there was a serious problem. Eventually, Vortian scientists and battle weaponry designers were spending more time working for Boodie Nen, sending arsenal to Boodie Nen, and get more monies from Boodie Nen.

Nyathead Fen was admiral of one of the armies on Boodie Nen. Their war was supposedly against rebelling forces on their planet--and Nyathead Fen took no mercy on rebels.Our Tallest had decided it was best to ban any Vortians working for the Irken Empire to have any interaction with Boodie Nen’s war. Unfortunately, the Vortians decided this was unfair, and that Irkens didn’t have the authority to stop them from working for anyone else.

A few months later, an Irken fleet blockaded the majority of Boodie Nen’s ports. The Large Nostril people decided to try and attack a few Irken ships—in the valley of Del Snorg. More Irken military ships were sent in, and battled with the Vortian-made Boodie Nen ships. A weapon that had been developed by highly advanced Vortian scientists years before was brought to the battle field—the Death Wave Cannon. It killed millions of the Large Nostril people, and all ongoing wars on the planet were immediately put to an end.

Then, began a golden age! Our race, which is the best race there could ever be, had entered the era where it could prove to be dominion over the whole universe! We left Boodie Nen at the time, and focused our concern on the Vortians. They had become enraged at what had happed at Del Snorg, and began to rally against the Irken Race. More of the Vortians began to hate the Irkens after we’d begun to invade more planets. Operation Impending Doom I was being formed, and their race grew more and more hatred towards us. So what was the best thing to do?

Imprisonment! We hadn’t begun to take complete control of their planet until near a half a century later, but most of the Vortians at that time were either taken as prisoners (and kept to design for the military), or persecuted…

BUT ENOUGH OF MY REMINESCENSE! The Tallest have agreed on sending me the Death Wave Cannon tomorrow! What seems sort of WEIRD about the whole ordeal was that when using a Death Wave Cannon, it’s usually manned by several people…If I were to use it while still on Earth, I, myself, ZIM, would be obliterated along with the humans! The Tallest said this certain model wouldn’t allow that to happen, so all is well!

Invader ZIM, signing off!

18 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

[17 Jan 2004|08:20pm]

Dear Master,

where are you? ive looked around the house everywhere'! in the kitched, in the refridGerator, in the TeeVee, in the couch, in my aminals, where are you?! I haven't seen you since the Dib boy came bye. i miss you! I am LEtting the kitties live here for a whil, since your gonE. they like watching tv :D


Come back soon!

13 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

[28 Dec 2003|02:02am]

Merry Christmas, one and all!
21 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

Lord of the WHOOO? [21 Dec 2003|08:31pm]
[ mood | unamused ]

So...ZIM saw this supposed MIGHTY movie production, "Return of the King". I AM NOT PLEASED!

First of all, why do humans try and act as if they can behave in an orderly fashion? When I arrived in the miniscule 'theater', more than about three hundred humans were sitting in their disgusting, sticky seats, leaving the only available seats next to randomly-placed stairs, up close (the section of seats where you're sure to go blind from looking up at the screen), and next to giant, sweaty males who had long hair.

Sooo...After fifteen minutes of searching (and disposing of a few humans), I finally found a seat worthy of my sitting. GIR sat on the ground, and ate the excessive amount of food on the ground.

Blah blah, I saw the movie! ZIM will not waste his time with stupid, long plot descriptions. What basically happened was that the evil power in some place did something, and got defeated by the stupid humans because they didn't know how to lead a precise attack on their army. If ZIM were in charge, no stupid humans with long blonde hair and disturbing eyebrows that kept on furrowing wouldn't have won ANY WAR!

And what was with the smaller humans? And why was the weak one carrying the 'ring'? It would have made since for the fat one to carry the ring. But then again, it's always better to have the stupid do the dirty work when the one in power doesn't feel like doing it. HAAHA.

The slimy human was disgusting. If that were ZIM, those smaller humans would have been my slaves, and would be following my every command.

There was also a part where some flaming idiot jumped off of a very tall ledge, but I guess it was for the best. Icky red stuff was dripping from his NASTY chin, and that didn't make ZIM feel all that comfortable.

Haha! LET ME RUIN THE ENDING FOR EVERYONE! The weak, pale human who had his fat servant do everything for him left. I guess it makes since for the servant to be slightly sad that they were fooled into believe that they only helped save their insignificant world. Stupid human emotions. They don't make any sense!

After the movie, I found out that novels were written for all three of the movie's segments. That's stupid. What kind of fool would do such a thing as write lengthy stories on a movie that was filled with hundreds of human errors in the first place?

ZIM will not be going to any more human theaters any time soon.

- ZIM!

33 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

Bwuahaaa...HA! [19 Dec 2003|05:24pm]
[ mood | amused ]

BEHOLD!!! katie8787 is among the few humans who truley know who their(YEAH) leader is..
23 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

UGH! [19 Dec 2003|03:12pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

Answering stupid human comments has become a rather annoying task.

But that is only one of the reasons why ZIM is disgusted!

First off, the Human snack 3 Musketeers is a completely copy of Chocolatey Badness With Three Cups of Granulated Sugar. I'm not sure how the pitiful Humans got a hold of such a recipe, but they look and taste the exact same, nonetheless.

While I've vowed to never eat Earth food (unless it was completely necessary, like experimenting for a method of self-destruction), the 3 Musketeers candy bar is indeed ALL-POWERFUL!

Ordering a box of Chocolatey Badness With Three Cups of Granulated Sugar bars isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. Although ordering through Planet Callnowia is usually a fast process, CBWTCoGS is NOT an easy item to get a hold of! Slave workers manufacture the candy (probably Screw-Heads...filthy beings, HA!), but production isn't the same as it was a few years ago. ZIM's demand for sweets shouldn't be fulfilled by slow and lazy slaves.

I discovered the 3 Musketeers bar while attending the horrible SKOOL, in a common snack-disposing machine. They cost only a mere 75 cents in Human currency--Which I CERTAINLY have a bountiful amount of! But it seems that the janitorial slaves around the school complain when you purchase all of the items from the machine. Humans are ignorant fools; do they not realize they should be honored that a powerful Invader such as myself, which also should be given the uttermost respect, especially when I'm using their own stupid money with ugly pictures of their STUPID COUNTRY REPRESENTATIVES, is buying they're food?

So today, I went to this machine, in order to buy another 3 Muskateers bar. It was then when I realized how much of a GENIUS I was! Not that I didn't know this before, it's just that it's sometimes overwhelming how great I really am. I knew that I could rule the Humans with foreign candys and snacks, since they seem to be obsessed with the stuff. Honestly, eating chips that are supposedly FLAMING HOT is something only a stupid Human worm thing would do!

HA! I know you all are staring in awe at my amazing drawing skills. But we must stay on-topic! While I was plotting more on my ideas, guess who comes up? Yes, that hideous big-headed DIB-thing! He had a disturbingly greasy brown bag in his claw-like hands, and just SHOVED me out of the way! He went to the snack-disposing machine, and took ALL OF THE 3 MUSKETEERS! FILTHY PIG! I would have let him experience the full-fledged DOOM-FILLED power I had, but he ran away before I could get up. I'm plotting at this moment how I will get back at him next week.

I believe I shall just clone myself instead of trying to make an evil hybrid. Another me would be deviously...amazing.

- ZIM!
42 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

Filthy Civilians [19 Dec 2003|12:22am]
[ mood | amused ]

If you ask me, Tak's certainly an Irken that should be watched out for...BEING STUPID! Hahahaaa! She comes all across the galexy to try and steal my mission away from me, just for the mere fact she's VERY jealous of me, and just couldn't stand watching me, the best Invader there is, become closer to world domination.

SO, what does she do? STEAL MY PLAN! Yes, everything she supposidly did was a copy of a plan of my own!

I am deeply amused at her futile attempts at trying to threaten me--ZIM! Why don't you go back to your filthy planet of...FILTH! You filthy, useless civilian!

...My Tallest, Dib's head seems to grow more and more grotesque by the day...

- ZIM!

38 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

Ehehehe.... [18 Dec 2003|06:44pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Skool is truly a horrifying place. I once again had to deal with Dib's annoying and repetitive ranting! At least the other human worms have enough sense to not listen to him. The 'teacher' Ms. Bitters taught them about their irrelevant human history. Something about a Toussaint L'Ouverture.

But I will eventually dispose myself of the DIB. I ask my self everyday...Why is his head so big? Even if he weren't so stupid and annoying, no one would be able to listen to him! They'd be too busy staring at his bulbous HEAD! It's so hideous and round and pale. Staring at it for too long of a time tends to make me sick...Right down to my squeedily-spooch. And those round flat glass structures that sit on the end of his stubby nose!

I have had a change of plans! Turns out the force field only works on the skool janitorial slaves. They're of no help.

ZIM takes a chance at a Human survey.Collapse )

I sent a transmission to the Tallest earlier...After waiting for about three hours, I decided to try again later. Five minutes later I tried to get a signal, and they finally responded!

I asked them if anything was wrong with the planet's position for achieving transmissions, but they only answered with, "That's great Zim, but we've got to...Douse the flames of our watershed."

I do not quite understand what they meant by that, but they quickly ended the transmission. If I remember, last time I talked to them, they had to finish eating the leftover supply of Coconut Puffs...And the transmission before that, they had to mow their lawn. The Massive does not have a LAWN! But they probably installed one, and I simply was not informed.

SO, while thinking of my next chance to contact the Almighty Tallest, I browsed through catalog of Irken vehicles. All of the Shuvver models are ridiculously outdated. If a time of an Organic Sweep comes, I don't want anything CHEAP being apart of my domination of Earth.

- ZIM!

80 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

Ehehe [18 Dec 2003|08:27am]
[ mood | amused ]

Such crazy insane humans. Especially spacefille and sporkbotic. Although, the hybrid idea IS interesting...BUT IT WAS MY IDEA FIRST!

I can already hear the hideous humans next door walking outside of their safe homes. But they're only a reminder of a new plan I am planning to go into action!

At approximately 3:17 p.m. Friday afternoon, a hidden field will be activated that surrounds the Skool. At that time, all of the stinky school children would be leaving the premises. Once they reach a certain point, each and everyone of them will be transported to the underground chambers I have prepared. After much research, I learned that the stupid parental units would eventually go looking for their nasty sucklings, and leave their homes. They'll be led to the secret chambers, and I, ZIM, will brainwash them all into becoming my slaves! And once I accomplish that, my new slaves will spread the word and ZIM, and all of the humans of the world would soon be in my power!

Or I could lure everyone to my house using candy.

- ZIM!

41 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

Television is INFERIOR! [17 Dec 2003|10:21pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Why are Humans so infatuated with a that large, red man, which belly shakes like that of a bowl of jelly? I can only cringe at what affect 'jollyness' had on me last 'Christmas'. But this year, things shall be quite different!

I have studied the weather patterns of this region of Earth, and came to a final conclusion. Most of the humans aren't immune to the frozen water drops that fall from their filthy clouds, which drives them into a dangerous state of dementia. The Human's rather primitive electronic device, ridiculously called 'television', finally proved to be of valuable to me. While watching a show called The Young and the Restless (I've yet to find out why the smaller and less-developed Humans are considered restless; they're useless and don't tend to move that much), I learned that the female species tend to be hostile around this time of Earth's seasonal cycle!

I took notes on this, when finally deciding it'd be better to record it for later research. GIR had damaged much of the equipment in my lab by dousing everything in syrup! Truly, the Tallest wanted me to have a power robotic assistant that would take much time and effort to control.

But now is the time to end this report! It's time for my hourly transmission to the tallest. Invader ZIM logging off!

- ZIM!


37 Planets|Prepare for the Invasion!| You wish to talk to ZIM?!

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